Nepotism is alive!

One of the perks of my job is that I get to see my daughter every day.  If only for a moment to say 'Hi'.

Yesterday I walked over to her table and gave her a big bear hug.

A boy who has attended school there for years said with a worried look on his face:

BOY:  Is she your daughter or something?

ME:  Yes she is!  Why?  Were you worried I was giving out random hugs and you might be next?

BOY:  Sort of [now giving me his best 'EWWE' grimace

ME: [faking like I'm about to hug him with outstretched arms] Here ya go!  Everyone needs a hug now and then.

BOY: [recoiling with his face all scrunched in real terror] No we don't!  No we don't!  No we don't!

ME:  ha - ha - ha- [job well done].

You have to earn respect in the lunchroom.

Friday Funnies

Overheard in the lunchroom:

ME: Did you get your hair cut, it looks very cute!?

GIRL:  Yes, and I got my ears 'pinched' too!

Thank you Thomas Edison

Just when you think you're all settled in and the kids are falling into a great routine??

The power goes out...

LITERALLY

on a Monday

Did I mention it was hot out today?

I had to laugh at the radio transmission I overheard with someone looking for the principal.

VOICE ON RADIO: Where are you located right now?

OTHER VOICE: I'm about 15 feet away from you

I fully expected to hear them organize a game of 'Marco - Polo' any minute LOL.

Hopefully everything is back in order by tomorrow. For now I'll just refer to it as a 'Pineapple Day' [ala Ross the Intern]

This is a long video, but start at 1:40 for the explanation.

CSI, Playground Edition

Well, why not?  CSI has about eleventy-billion versions already, no?

The other day I spotted a few girls at the top of our sledding hill, which means nothing to you but basically it's about as far away as they are allowed to be and still be within my line of sight.  So there were about 3 girls at the far peak of the hill............with their backs to us...............staring..........at...............something.

It caught our attention, but I decided that as long as we still had a visual on them, all was good.  Besides, who wants to hike all the way over there unnecessarily and risk breaking a sweat, right?

All of a sudden the group breaks their 'huddle' and one of them sprints towards me yelling, 'There's a dead body!.........There's a dead body! (see those dots in between the 2 phrases?  That's when I began sprinting towards the girl, half panicking in my head and half wondering what in the world they could be mistaking for a DEAD.BODY!

GIRL: There's a dead body!

(we're running together now towards the hill while talking)

ME:  What kind of body? (I hated the way that sounded as soon as it came out of my mouth, but I had to ask).  Then I auto-corrected:  Was it a rabbit body?  (yes we've found those...or at least parts of them before).

GIRL:  No, a person..........I think..........I'm not sure...........well Susie said......

At this time TWO things happen:

1) We arrive at the scene of the 'crime'
2) Her story begins to seriously deteriorate.

ME:  Okay where is 'it' (refraining from mentioning body again)

GIRL:  Well see that orange leaf?  Susie said that the thing RIGHT under the leaf looks like it 'might' look like a body...........uhmmmm.........or maybe it just looks like a rock..........she couldn't really be sure.

ME: Staring at her in disbelief for A) causing such a panic in the first place and B) making me break a sweat!

So, those were the two choices?  Either a rock?  or a dead body?!?!?!?  I glance at the precise orange leaf and directly under it is a .....................ROCK!   Just a plain old ordinary rock (which in 3rd grade speak apparently also translates to dead body).

I told the girl to please not start rumors like this again and to tell every SINGLE person who talked about the dead body that it was............in fact............ just ............a ..............rock.

By now, the bell has rung and we need to break another sweat hurry towards the rest of the group, where I hear all sorts of buzzing out of little mouths. 'Did you hear?'..... 'under the leaf?'.........'Behind the hill?'............ 'Dead Body?!!' (by this time we've reached the teachers) and they are all staring blankly at me as I am shouting out to the entire 3rd grade. 'THERE IS NO DEAD BODY ON THE HILL!!!' I look at them and just burst out laughing and say 'Don't ask'

Ahhhhhh...... Kindergarten.

I've heard a little feedback that I was noticeably quiet here last year

[cue the crickets]


I think it was, in part, due to a lack of good material.  I didn't work with my favorite source...

KINDERGARTEN

They are so innocently naive about everything that it all just comes out hysterical.  So stay tuned.  As soon as they get past the meat and potatoes of knowing what to do when I dismiss them [food pun intended, get it?  meat and potatoes?  I work in a cafeteria?]

Anywho........

They still don't know what to do when I dismiss them from their tables.
They still don't know that I AM dismissing them.
I tried explaining to them what the procedures were, but they still had the deer in headlights look.

Blissfully ignorant.  If you don't know any rules, how can you be breaking them, right?

Well, give us a few weeks to fall into a routine and I'm sure funny stuff will be oozing out of them in no time.

Until then, picture me

TRYING. TO. HERD. - - - - - - JELLO!

p.s. - wanna hear a custodian funny while the 5 year olds are warming up?  Today we served peas.  Which, of course means peas were spilled everywhere.  I mentioned to our favorite Custodian, Mr. B that there were peas spilled and his reply implied very strongly that he was not a fan of the little green balls of veggies.  I finally said 'Oh, just give peas a chance, would you?'  About ten minutes later he came up and admitted that he JUST got the joke.  Give peas (peace) a chance.  See?  I can have funny moments too!

DAY 2

The new supervisor started today

I got to train her.  

I asked her at the end of our shift if I did well and she said yes!

She mentioned that she has SEVEN children of her own.

SHE should be training ME!

The Lunchroom is Open!

First day went as well as most first days go.  Basically a lot of organized chaos.  Emphasis on the chaos.

Let's see if I can do the simple math:

FOUR lunchroom supervisors, minus ONE who can't start working just quite yet.

Add ONE very rainy day which equals indoor recess [did I mention the chaos?]

LOTS of happy smiley faces.  You just have to love that everyone LOVES the first day of school [ask us all again in about 3 months how we're doing]

Oh and it just wouldn't be fair if I didn't mention the first urper of the year.  Yep, the custodian had to break out the orange bio-hazard materials to soak up the poor kids breakfast remains...........times TWO.  Seems the poor child hit two different areas.  Or as he referred to it, a TWO-BAGGER!

Lovely, I know!

I received a drawing from a really sweet 1st grader.  It reads:

HAPPY FRIST DAY OF SCHOOL!

Only 10 more months til summer vacation!