Caught red-handed...

Along with winter comes lost gloves...

Today on the playground, 'Timmy' approached me to let me know he had lost one of his gloves. I looked down and sure enough he was only wearing one. I asked him what the lost glove looked like.

He held up his bare hand (not the other one wearing the lost glove's mate) and said 'It looks just like this - with 4 fingers and a thumb'.

LOL

Over Thanksgiving break it snowed which meant 'open season' on the sledding hill. We've been having a blast watching the kids slip and slide down the hill squealing in delight.

Today, a little girl approached me completely bundled from head to toe in winter gear and sheepishly confided to me 'Uhmm, I just peed myself because I was laughing so hard'.

She really didn't seem too bothered by it but I had to giggle to myself thinking 'you're way too young for this to happen already' LOL.

Lost in Translation

Incident #1 - another supervisor called to me on the playground looking for a pair of gloves left outside by one of her students. She described them as 'Black with a Hawk on the back of the hand'. I looked and, sure enough, there was a pair of black gloves right where she said they'd be. BUT the picture on them was of.............
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The HULK!

LOL

Incident #2

A boy called me over at lunch to report that the boys sitting near him were saying a really BAD word - it begins with the letter 'S' he said.

me: is it a word you can repeat?

him: no it's a REALLY bad word

me: does it end in the letter 'T'

him: beginning to spell it to himself 'S--H--............yes!

me: and (thinking how to be discreet) is it something that comes out of a dog?

him: (looking puzzled) NO!

me: Can you please just tell me the word?

him: it was 'Shutup'

*in case you're wondering - this is a 2nd grader who may just need to brush up on his spelling I'm thinking LOL.

A 5 year old's political perspective...

Had to break up a physical fight between two kindergarten boys because one of them was dissing the other's presidential candidate (rolling eyes). I can't wait til this election is over!

Funnies

Overheard in the lunchroom:

G: I saw Mr. 'B' (our custodian) at Burger King over the weekend.

E: Oh that's nice.

G: Yeah, that's where he got his BIG belly!

{giggles}

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A: I have a tummy ache

R: what would you like me to do?

A: I think I should see the nurse and see what she'll do.

R: what do you think the nurse will do for you?

A: I dunno - I don't know anything about doctors.

{smile}

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S: I like white milk and it's HEALTHY for you.

me: yes it is - glad you like it.

S: Not like THAT (pointing to chocolate milk) kind.

me: you don't like chocolate milk?

S: It's not as healthy.....and it has CHOCOLATE in it!

me: you say that like it's a bad thing.

{grins}

Monday Leftovers

Haven't posted in a while but I thought of a funny from last Halloween. And since it's that time of year again, it's worth repeating.

So on Halloween the kids all get to dress in their costumes and have a parade and a class party towards the end of the day. I decided to 'dress up' a little bit and surprise the kids. Nothing elaborate, just a pair of cat ears and whiskers that, when clipped onto my nose, looked pretty convincing -- at least to my 5 year olds. Or.....................so one would think. I had a lot of fun acting surprised when they would point out my whiskers (as if I had just grew them).

One boy's comment clinched the prize for the day.

Little 'Doug' who calls me over to quite frequently ask me nonsensical questions that have much ado about nothing LOL.

He looked me straight in the whiskers and very seriously asked, 'What are you going to be for Halloween?'

I shrugged my shoulders and said, 'I dunno, maybe a dog?'.

I 'heart' 5 year olds.

Hey Lady!

Out on the playground yesterday and I hear a child shout out 'Hey! OTHER Lunch Lady!!'

There are TWO of us. What made me the OTHER Lunchlady I wondered? I approached him with that 'are YOU talking to ME' smirk on my face, did a quick introduction that included him reading my name from my ID on my lanyard and he quickly apologized that he didn't know my name. (We're only into --what is it?-- nearly week SEVEN of school?) LOL.

When I walked away I noticed one of the aids laughing herself silly over the exchange between the boy and I.

Runover, Retainers and Refuse, Oh My!

Safety is a big part of our responsibilities when it comes to the children - especially on the playground. Today, Safety decided to challenge the lunchlady and I'm happy to say the lunchlady prevailed!

I was on the blacktop with approximately 20-25 students when I noticed a white truck coming towards us on our newly paved path. I immediately began blowing my whistle to alert the children, at the same time trying to assess whether the driver would stop when he reached the end of the drive. He stopped (phew). Then proceeded ONTO the blacktop full of children and turned his wheel in 3-point fashion, then continued to back up TOWARDS the kids who were playing handball and unaware of any danger. I was now face to face with the passenger side of his truck. While STILL blowing on my whistle, I was about to hit my fist on his passenger window when he put the truck into drive and nearly ran over my feet! He turned again, this time returning down the path he approached on (only after leaving tire tracks in the grass). I quickly radioed the office to report it but haven't heard anything back on that. I walked around for a few minutes feeling like that actor in 'Airplane' when he kept saying 'I sure picked a great day to quit ______' (fill in the blank) LOL.

So fast forward to the end of my shift and we're wiping down tables when a 5th grade girl returns to the lunchroom to announce she had lost her retainer and thinks it got thrown in the trash! Poor Mr. 'B' - his job description never ceases to amaze me. Since my own son just got his braces off and I know how expensive these retainers are to replace, I donned a pair of handy-dandy blue rubber gloves and began sorting through the day's trash. It was only after I had gone through a third of the food and muck when she informed us that this was a CLEAR retainer, no metal whatsoever. 'Okay guys we're searching for a CLEAR item amongst all of this!!' Believe it or not I found it in my bin. I washed it and warned her NOT to wear it until mom was informed of it's near demise.

My lucky day?? I think so!

Who's Testing Who??

Generally speaking, the lunchroom is not a quiet zone. It is, after all, their free time, but we try to keep it to a controlled chaos most of the time. Today, however, we had been requested to 'encourage' the kids to be as quiet as possible because our other students were taking tests in the gymnasium which was only a temporary wall's hearing distance away.

Well, you can imagine how well that went over. Oh well, we tried our best to at least discourage any loud outbursts.

That is, until a tiny visitor joined us ................in the form ...............of...............................a
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BEE!

This could cause a commotion even with the most mature of children. But this uninvited 'guest' decided to make his grand entrance during kindergarten lunchtime. In no time at all, you could tell exactly which table our buzzing bug was hovering, by the wave of screams. Gone were the rules of 'stay in your seat' and 'raise your hand if you need help' and were chaotically replaced with 5-year olds running amuck, and causing a mini-riot, complete with one tiny little blond girl who was (as Oprah would put it) doing the ugly cry! You know the one - where you cry so hard your eyes get all red and puffy and your face is all blotchy??

I tried to instill calm by talking in soothing tones, saying 'It will be okay'..........'The bee won't hurt you (I didn't believe this)'.............. 'Please don't scream' all the while I could feel my own panic rise up in my throat as I remembered that I myself am allergic to bee stings.

Good thing I keep an epi-pen..............................in my car...........................in the parking lot.......................really, really far away from where the Bee is!!!!

I decided it was safer if we got the littles outside as quickly as possible. At least they could run and scream freely out there and passersby wouldn't think anything out of the ordinary was going on.

So on Testing Day, what was the final Score?

BEE - A++
Kindergarteners - C++ (they tried but their emotions got the best of them)
Lunchlady - F++ for not being able to control either of the above

Deja Vu?

There are a set of twins in kindergarten (I'll call them Robert and Timmy) but they are not in the same classroom together. They do, however, sit together at lunch every day.

Today, a girl sitting near them who shares a class with Robert called me over and said 'You know Robert? Well, he and Timmy look just like they could be twins'

Oh the innocence of a 5-year old!

Dog Days of Summer

A stray dog wandered onto our playground today which happens every so often and causes a stir. Our trusty custodian went out to 'shoo' him away and I had to giggle as the dog (keeping his own distance) was having an entire conversation with Mr. "B" in dog-speak. Mr. "B" had a long snow brush sticking out of his back pocket the entire time.

I imagine the dog smelled the food and figured it was as good a place as any to get some freshly dropped tidbits to nibble on. He would've been correct -- IF -- he'd been allowed inside the building. Mr. "B" had a heck of a time trying to get the dog to run off until a nearby homeowner shouted out of her window at the dog, 'Hey Jack! -- GO HOME!!' and the dog promptly turned around and ran off, LOL.

I asked Mr. "B" later what he planned on doing with the snow brush he had in his back pocket and he said he needed something to defend himself with if necessary. ROTFL -- glad it didn't have to come to THAT!

Yesterday's Blues

Too busy to blog yesterday due to the last of 3 curriculum nights in a week's time.

Nothing too eventful to report in the lunchroom for yesterday, except that it rained ALL day so that meant indoor recess. Funny how a day full of rain can affect the VOLUME indoors?

The kids and our procedures are beginning to 'click' although there are still a few who are still a little late coming to the party.

One little 1st grader had to visit the nurse and when she had returned to her classroom they had all gone home. Not really, but she may have thought that as I found her wandering around the hallway sort of numb and lost looking. No worries, she was supposed to be in the lunchroom so she got a VIP escort from me!

5 second rule doesn't apply here...

Recess bell rang which means time to clean up, toss your trash and line up to head to class (indoor recess today due to rain). So, I'm watching the kids to make sure they don't leave anything behind on their tables and this one little guy is juggling lots-O-stuff. His lunch container gets emptied into the trash but somewhere in the effort, he drops his (opened) bag of Cheetos -- they land on the floor and only ONE escapes. He picks up the bag, proceeds to toss it into the garbage can and then (politely I thought) picks up the one lonely Cheeto and (didn't see this coming) proceeds to POP it into his mouth! (shudder) Another lunch supervisor and I grab him at the same time to explain how the 5 second rule doesn't apply in school lunchrooms.

'what doesn't kill you, just makes you stranger'

Import/Export

A new boy (3rd grade) called me over to ask me 'why is my burrito so hard to bit into?'

me: I don't know, do you need your teeth sharpened? (grin)

boy: no - kind of puzzled at my answer so I continued with

me: well, they don't prepare the food here. It's cooked at a kitchen somewhere else and brought in to our lunchroom.

boy: Did they bring it from Mexico?

LOL

Friday Leftovers

I'm off today but here's a gem from last year.

This happened during one of the very last weeks of the school year. I was talking to 'Z' who got to know me very well in the lunchroom. He's created a lot of material for me here so you may hear about 'Z' again in the future.

This particular day, we had indoor recess in the classroom. He was showing me something in a journal of his (I think it was about volcanoes) and I commented on how my kids liked anything to do with natural disasters.

He looked at me as wide-eyed as he could and exclaimed 'YOU HAVE KIDS?!?!?!'

Mind you -- one of my boys had shared a classroom with him for the previous 9 months! LOL

Rainy Days and Dominoes

Today was raining so that meant indoor recess in our classrooms instead of out on the playground.

Two 2nd graders were excited to show me that they were setting up a domino design on the table to knock over. I noticed that ONE domino was a little out of place and as I leaned over to nudge it in a bit, my lanyard hit the middle of the design and half of the display knocked itself down right in sequence. OMG - I apologized profusely to the boys. I SO didn't intend on doing that. One of the boys -- 'Billy' suffers from some anxiety so I was concerned he might have a meltdown over this. But no! He was comforting ME instead -- saying it was okay -- it was just an accident, etc. I quickly helped them rebuild the section I had knocked over. Just as we were placing the last few, 'Billy' accidently tipped one over on the opposite end and they ALL went down in order - EVERY last one of them! 'Billy' eyed me to see how I'd respond first and when we caught each other in mid glance, we BOTH burst out laughing -- then high-fived each other!

Way to turn an 'almost bad moment' into something fun 'Billy'!!!

If You Teach a Man to Fish...

I felt like I was trying to teach a whole boat full of fisherman today, except they are all only 5 years old LOL.

It's amazing to me the ginormous amount of data that is fed to kindergarten children. Yes, there are all sorts of academics, they are writing their names, reading by the end of the school year, counting, writing numbers, doing math, etc. But here are some other things they also learn that we take for granted with our older, more seasoned students:

• walking in a straight line with their mouths quiet (most of the time)
• raising their hands when they need help
• how to take turns in line, on the playground, for the bathroom, for a snack, to enter the gym, etc.
• fair play (this is one even the big kids need to learn over and over sometimes)
• how to open their own milk carton, juice pouch, chip bag, fruit cup, straw and even their lunch boxes (I implement the 'let me see you try it' approach first and you'd be surprised how many can get it on their own)
• compassion - helping a playmate by pushing them on the swings, sharing something from their lunch, getting help if someone is injured, etc.

Moms, I know it's rough sending your 'baby' off to school for the first time for a full day. I know you want to do everything for them and that's okay because you have only them to cater to and it's your job to nurture them. But by the end of this very school year, your baby is going to have mastered everyone of these bulleted points, and many many more. They are growing into independent little people with minds of their own. The more we teach them to do, the more independent they become and the stronger the hunger becomes to learn even more.

Rest assured, your child is in good hands. We love our charges in the lunchroom like they're our own -- after all we are all mommies too.

'You can't take the mommy out of the lunch lady' (my motto)

I 'Heart' this boy

A boy waved me over today just to say, 'I just wanted to tell you I like you'. Awe - I like you too sweetie.

How many of you have jobs where your 'employees' stop you just to say they like you?

First Week In Review

We survived:

• Explaining procedures to all the new students and returning students. I think they're catching on.
• Worked out some kinks in the scheduling that will serve everyone a little better.
• One student who's mom got confused about when lunch was and 'forgot' to bring it for him.
• One student who had a pretty serious injury (on day ONE) but should be okay (THAT was scary)
• Two 'misplaced' kindergarten kids who decided (on their own) that they could head out to recess when they finished eating (not allowed)

All-In-All a really successful week LOL. At least it was better than last year when the school was on lockdown the 2nd day of school because of a TORNADO!

Leftovers

I'm off duty today b/c my son has a doctor's appointment. So on the days off when I have no new material, I'm posting something I still remember (an amazing feat in itself) from last year!

I'm calling it 'Leftovers'

This is one I recall from the beginning week of last school year. A first grade girl I'll call Amy called me over and had a complaint about a boy I'll call Don. The conversation went something like this:

AMY: Mrs. R, Don is bothering me.

ME: Well, what is he doing?

AMY: (with an obvious look of disgust) He keeps following me around and telling me he loves me!

ME: (stifling a giggle) And what would you like me to do about that?

AMY: You need to have a talk with him.

ME: Sure! What should I tell him?

AMY: (pausing to think) Well........I think you should tell him that first graders really shouldn't be thinking about love and stuff.

I couldn't agree more. Enough said!

First Love

Today was our first day back to school and I'm in love with a first grader.

He called me over and said 'TWO things. I'm new to the area and I need some silverware' LOL, gotta love a kid that gets right to the point.

I quickly introduced myself and our handy-dandy combo utensil we like to refer to as a 'spork'. He explained that his family just moved here a few weeks ago, but had previously lived in Texas and Georgia. I welcomed him and told him he was a REAL southern gentleman complete with the nicest manners I've seen in a 6 year old boy.

I think he was quite taken by me.

When he walked past me to go outside to recess he handed me his apple from his lunch and said, 'here this is for you'. My heart melted into a puddle.

My first day of school AND my first apple!