Saturday, September 17, 2011

Friday Funnies

Overheard in the lunchroom:

ME: Did you get your hair cut, it looks very cute!?

GIRL:  Yes, and I got my ears 'pinched' too!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Thank you Thomas Edison

Just when you think you're all settled in and the kids are falling into a great routine??

The power goes out...


on a Monday

Did I mention it was hot out today?

I had to laugh at the radio transmission I overheard with someone looking for the principal.

VOICE ON RADIO: Where are you located right now?

OTHER VOICE: I'm about 15 feet away from you

I fully expected to hear them organize a game of 'Marco - Polo' any minute LOL.

Hopefully everything is back in order by tomorrow. For now I'll just refer to it as a 'Pineapple Day' [ala Ross the Intern]

This is a long video, but start at 1:40 for the explanation.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

CSI, Playground Edition

Well, why not?  CSI has about eleventy-billion versions already, no?

The other day I spotted a few girls at the top of our sledding hill, which means nothing to you but basically it's about as far away as they are allowed to be and still be within my line of sight.  So there were about 3 girls at the far peak of the hill............with their backs to

It caught our attention, but I decided that as long as we still had a visual on them, all was good.  Besides, who wants to hike all the way over there unnecessarily and risk breaking a sweat, right?

All of a sudden the group breaks their 'huddle' and one of them sprints towards me yelling, 'There's a dead body!.........There's a dead body! (see those dots in between the 2 phrases?  That's when I began sprinting towards the girl, half panicking in my head and half wondering what in the world they could be mistaking for a DEAD.BODY!

GIRL: There's a dead body!

(we're running together now towards the hill while talking)

ME:  What kind of body? (I hated the way that sounded as soon as it came out of my mouth, but I had to ask).  Then I auto-corrected:  Was it a rabbit body?  (yes we've found those...or at least parts of them before).

GIRL:  No, a person..........I think..........I'm not sure...........well Susie said......

At this time TWO things happen:

1) We arrive at the scene of the 'crime'
2) Her story begins to seriously deteriorate.

ME:  Okay where is 'it' (refraining from mentioning body again)

GIRL:  Well see that orange leaf?  Susie said that the thing RIGHT under the leaf looks like it 'might' look like a body...........uhmmmm.........or maybe it just looks like a rock..........she couldn't really be sure.

ME: Staring at her in disbelief for A) causing such a panic in the first place and B) making me break a sweat!

So, those were the two choices?  Either a rock?  or a dead body?!?!?!?  I glance at the precise orange leaf and directly under it is a .....................ROCK!   Just a plain old ordinary rock (which in 3rd grade speak apparently also translates to dead body).

I told the girl to please not start rumors like this again and to tell every SINGLE person who talked about the dead body that it fact............ just ............a ..............rock.

By now, the bell has rung and we need to break another sweat hurry towards the rest of the group, where I hear all sorts of buzzing out of little mouths. 'Did you hear?'..... 'under the leaf?'.........'Behind the hill?'............ 'Dead Body?!!' (by this time we've reached the teachers) and they are all staring blankly at me as I am shouting out to the entire 3rd grade. 'THERE IS NO DEAD BODY ON THE HILL!!!' I look at them and just burst out laughing and say 'Don't ask'

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Ahhhhhh...... Kindergarten.

I've heard a little feedback that I was noticeably quiet here last year

[cue the crickets]

I think it was, in part, due to a lack of good material.  I didn't work with my favorite source...


They are so innocently naive about everything that it all just comes out hysterical.  So stay tuned.  As soon as they get past the meat and potatoes of knowing what to do when I dismiss them [food pun intended, get it?  meat and potatoes?  I work in a cafeteria?]


They still don't know what to do when I dismiss them from their tables.
They still don't know that I AM dismissing them.
I tried explaining to them what the procedures were, but they still had the deer in headlights look.

Blissfully ignorant.  If you don't know any rules, how can you be breaking them, right?

Well, give us a few weeks to fall into a routine and I'm sure funny stuff will be oozing out of them in no time.

Until then, picture me

TRYING. TO. HERD. - - - - - - JELLO!

p.s. - wanna hear a custodian funny while the 5 year olds are warming up?  Today we served peas.  Which, of course means peas were spilled everywhere.  I mentioned to our favorite Custodian, Mr. B that there were peas spilled and his reply implied very strongly that he was not a fan of the little green balls of veggies.  I finally said 'Oh, just give peas a chance, would you?'  About ten minutes later he came up and admitted that he JUST got the joke.  Give peas (peace) a chance.  See?  I can have funny moments too!